Grace and Growing

Last week at ballet, I got so frustrated at myself for not being able to do the steps to our recital dance perfectly (even though we just learned the whole dance).We were rehearsing the dance, and In the back of my mind, I was waiting for our teacher to call me out and correct me, or get mad (I guess those two things, correction and anger, can be synonymous in my mind, which they really aren’t). When she finally did correct me for something (which was only once), I was so frustrated at myself already that it made my mood worse. I want* to get this growing and grace concept down – the concept that I’m growing, so I can have (more grace) for myself in that process. Instead of focusing on all the mistakes I’m making, this means I can focus on the things I’m doing right, and the progress that I have made. I am making progress, and that is a success to be celebrated. I can surrender those mistakes to God, and ask Him to help me realize His grace, and that my identity isn’t in my mistakes, but in Christ. It’s okay to be where I am right now, and I am working and moving towards something greater and more mature than I am right now.

Isn’t that what God has done and is doing for us? He accepts us just as we are, and then works to refine us, heal us, and take the mess out of our lives one step at a time. It’s like that statue analogy. God is carving and chiseling away all the excess stuff, and the finished result will be beautiful. He will work on us all our lives, chipping away. But even before we are finished (which we won’t be this side of heaven), God sees inside that block of unchiseled stone that we are and sees the precious statue inside – what we can be in Christ. Romans 5:8 says that God loved us even before we loved Him, being the messed up people that humans are; He loved us when we were still sinners. God sees our mistakes and takes us anyways, because He loves us. But in the words of The Skit Guys, He loves us too much to leave us that way. He values us even though we are far from perfect; and He takes imperfect people and refines them, chisels away at them, to make them more like Christ. Our lives become God’s great art project, and we become more beautiful and mature in His hands. It hurts sometimes, but the result of God’s work is growth, maturity, and character – all which help us reflect Christ more and more.

Every blog post I have written lately seems to be about ballet and what God teaches me through it, but that’s ok. I guess I learn so much from ballet because it’s a challenge. It is not something that is easy, or that I know how to do well, or that I’m very good at right now. It is something that God has been using to refine me. It brings up character flaws, or shows me disconnects in my thinking, and I get a chance to work those things out with God. He uses it to tangibly teach me life lessons. I’m not just learning to dance – God is using it to refine my character. What a great classroom. God’s life lessons can be tough to learn, but they are very, very cool, and the result is growth. So cool. Not to mention that we get to wear tutus at our year end recital in four weeks… Hehe.

Here are some good verses about God’s grace and character development:

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,  and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.  For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

~ Romans 5:1-11

                The process of growing can be hard, but God loves us, has forgiven us, has given us a new identity, and enables us to grow through His Spirit. He is awesome!

*I originally wrote “need,” but then God helped me realize that “want” is healthier for me to say to myself right now, because it is goal-oriented language rather than requirement-oriented. J Goals are about self-motivation, and aiming at where I want to go and grow, while satisfying requirements can become only about meeting the standard and making other people happy (in a bad way). If I only live with requirements and standards in mind, I tend to feel the pressure to be perfect and put those standards onto who I am.  However, God has been teaching me to grow because I want to, and growing is good, rather than just being better to meet some standard.

P.S. Last week in class, we practiced standing with good ballet posture, which is so much harder than it looks. It is basically a strength workout for every part of your body without actually moving anything. You have to take standing seriously in ballet. But anyways, I did a tendu today randomly (ballet moves have subconsciously become part of the things I do while standing), and to my happy surprise, my body automatically went into correct ballet posture. I was very excited. Yay for correct posture!

P.P.S. I realize there is a lot of stuff and truth in that Romans passage, but I only really focused on the part about God’s love towards sinners and the growing through hard challenges we face (“suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character…”).

P.P.P.S. I also realize that almost every entry in my blog has been in a slightly different format… Whether it has been the spacing, the font, the font size, etc. I will try to fix this. :P