Keep Going

Sometimes God tells me things directly, and sometimes I think He just kind of puts ideas into my mind.  This was an example of the latter, and it was really helpful. 

I was walking home tonight from the bus stop and a thought hit me.  I realized that I probably don’t have to be as afraid of things, or as uncertain about my life, as I am sometimes.  I realized that I have a lot of times when I doubt if God is with me, or that I feel like I don’t know His will.  There are times when I’m afraid I am not doing what He wants, or that I am off track.  I guess I don’t feel top notch all the time; little anxieties have a way of creeping in.  However, the realization struck me tonight that I don’t have to be afraid even if my life doesn’t feel as solid as I think it should feel.  I kind of pictured myself as walking through a dark tunnel.  Even if the tunnel is pitch black around me, that doesn’t mean that God isn’t there.  It doesn’t mean that I’m not doing what He wants (I’m walking forward, right?), and it doesn’t mean that there won’t be light at the end of that tunnel, even if all I see around me right now is darkness. 

                I’m not saying every moment is dark; I’m just saying that all the little worries throughout my day add up, and definitely have the ability to make me feel like my life is on a shaky foundation.  I felt like sometimes God’s will is just for me to walk forward, even if I don’t feel like He is right there.  I realized that putting all those little worries in God’s hands would make walking through the tunnel a lot easier.  And once I do that, I will probably realize that there is a lot more light around me than I think there is. 

Song: Never Once by Matt Redman - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxFyX29pZnI

Postscript: It’s funny, because in all my wandering, God still reaches out to steady me.  The best times have been the moments when I’ve had no idea what I was doing, but I turned to God and He really just made me stand stronger.  So it’s okay if I don’t have things figured out.  Will I ever?  Probably not.  But I think the most important thing is that I trust in God, that He is who He says He is and will never change.  I know I can trust Him, because He has made Himself known to me over and over.  He never fails.